I used to love making to to-do lists.
I loved the satisfaction of checking things off, and I always started each day’s list with “#1. Make to-do list,” so I could instantly check something off. ✔️
One day though, I realized that this wasn’t always a good thing.
I’d planned a 3-day silent retreat for myself at my favorite hot springs in Oregon.
My first morning there, I noticed that from the moment I woke up, my mind made a whole running to-do list… about relaxing…
“FIRST, I will go to this pool…”, I thought,”and then this one, and then yoga and then lunch and then the other pool and then a nap and then and then….”
And thankfully I caught myself.
Woah….
Slow down…I said to myself. You don’t have to DO anything in particular or be anywhere at a certain time.
This is about relaxing. Let’s try a new game… where you don’t plan anything…
At first, I found this very challenging. I remember standing completely still in the woods, not really knowing how to move forward without a plan.
Experiences of stress or trauma can prime you to keep an eye out for what hard things might be coming around the corner; to try to plan and control for tough possibilities, to be vigilant and try to stay one step ahead of everything.
And on top of this, especially if you’ve experienced any level of abuse or neglect, accomplishments may become a way of proving to yourself or to others that you are “good.”
While this is an understandable and normal response to challenging experiences, the downside is that this focus on tasks or accomplishments pulls your consciousness away from the present moment.
It can be harder to relax, slow down, and allow yourself to experience the good things that are happening *now.*
The truth is, there are so many moments throughout each day that are filled with beauty.
They’re always there.
When we’re in “go-mode,” or stress or trauma have taught us to always be on guard, it can be harder to allow these moments to land. To slow down for them. To let them in.
But they’re always there…
And thankfully I’ve been called to notice them.
Even more so in recent days, I’ve been called to really s l o w d o w n.
For me, this usually means literally.
This often even means stopping mid-step…
To let life catch up with me.
To notice the call to tune in.
The invitation to let it all in…
The feel of the sun on the skin of my neck…
The play of dappled light on the leaves…
The subtle smell of jasmine in the air…
The joy…
The support…
The beauty…
That underlies each moment.
In these moments of stillness that call me out of my activity… out of busy-ness, out of “places to be” (even when that “place to be” is a plan to relax. To read in the sun…to stretch)…
…I find that in these moments, there is nothing to be done. There is nothing lacking.
In these moments of stillness, when I allow them in, everything I truly want is already present.
So I invite you to join me…
Take a few deep breaths. Allow your inhale and your exhale to gently deepen.
Set your intention to slow down…
…to allow in the beauty of the moment…
…the gentle radiance of your own being…
…let it land…
…drink it in…
It’s there for you.
And I’ve found that when you’re ready, you get to just receive it.
XO
If you enjoyed this, you may also like this guided meditation on being in the moment, or my recent instagram posts that also explore this topic.
And feel free to share this reflection and invitation with anyone who’d benefit from the reminder to slow down and allow in the support, magic and beauty available in each moment. ❤️
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