Imagine you have a bully following you around. When you brush your teeth, when you go to work, while you’re cooking dinner… Every single thing you do, the bully is there mocking, and criticizing, and pushing you around.

Imagine what this would do to your mood, your self-esteem, your energy levels, and eventually, your health.

Sounds pretty terrible, right?

Well, unfortunately, many of us do have to deal with a bully like this. And that’s because the bully is us.

Not convinced? Take a moment to notice the inner commentary that runs through your mind throughout the day. Chances are, you aren’t being as kind to yourself as you could be.

I’d heard this suggestion a while back, but I didn’t think it applied to me. I’m a fairly positive person, I thought, and carried on with my day.

Later that night I was making dinner, and I dropped a bunch of lettuce on the floor. “WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU??!!” my brain shouted.

Wow.  I was shocked. I mean, sure, lettuce on the floor is a bit inconvenient, but come on brain, take it easy….

After that, I noticed I was shouting and belittling myself constantly, without even realizing it. And even worse, perhaps, were the more subtle whisperings I started to notice, like, “they’ll think you’re ridiculous” or “what makes you think you can pull that off?”

With friends like these, who needs enemies?

Odds are, your inner voice is doing this to you to some degree as well, whether you notice or not.

This underlying negativity, if left unchecked, can affect your health and relationships. Your inner world helps create your outer reality, so what you tell yourself about you will impact your entire life.

What to do about it:

Luckily, there are simple steps you can take to change your inner dialogue. It can take some time to turn it all around, but it’s definitely worth it! Here is a method for silencing your inner critic.

# 1: Notice. Pay close attention to what goes on in your mind. If you notice something negative, pause. Take a deep breath or two. Forgive yourself for yelling at you (bullies need love too), and acknowledge yourself for doing your best. (ok, so some lettuce is on the floor, but you’re cooking a great dinner. Yay!)

# 2: Try not to say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to another person. We’re often much harder on ourselves than others. Keep that in mind, and try to extend the same basic respect and courtesy to yourself that you would to any other person.

# 3: Find a picture of yourself when you were young, maybe 2-5 years old. Treat yourself with the same compassion you’d treat that little person with. Keeping a photo nearby will make it really easy to be kinder and gentler to yourself. If you feel like you messed something up, or should have done something differently, remember this little you and forgive yourself. Every time.

Here’s the picture I found to keep at my desk. Look at that face. How could I stay mad at me?

# 4: Give yourself a hug. Send yourself unconditional love. Take at least a moment each day to accept yourself fully and with open arms. I promise it will make your day better : )

So get crackin! Pay attention to your mind, give yourself a well-deserved break, and flip through your old albums to find a mini-me to keep nearby.

In the comments below, let me know which step you find most helpful. And, if you have any other advice on how to calm that inner bully, please share.