Happy Fall!
As we approach the equinox, the themes that naturally come up this time of year revolve around grieving, letting go, and allowing for change…
So, leading up to the equinox on Saturday, I invite you to begin a process of forgiveness.
Forgiveness helps you let go of old hurt, of stuck grief and pain, of anger that weighs you down and takes up space in your being.
This forgiveness focus going to be a 3-part series, starting today and unfolding over the next few weeks, so keep your eyes on your inbox for the next sections of this process.
If you’re not on my mailing list and want to make sure to catch the rest of the series, you can join here.
We’ll start today with a simple but profound exercise to begin the process of forgiveness.
It will help you…
…feel lighter, clearer, and unburdened
…release pain and wounding from the past
…return your energy to you
This is an exercise that originally came up as a “homework” for my group program, the Deepening Wellness Circle. I’ll share the steps with you below so you can dive into this work.
Forgiveness letters:
You may have heard of this concept already, or it might be entirely new to you. Either way, I have a particular format I want to share with you that I’ve personally found the most helpful.
The overall process is creating a list of people you want to forgive, and writing each of them a letter (not to be sent, just to be written) with a few components in a certain order.
Here are the steps!
Steps:
1. Make a list of people you want to forgive
You don’t have to actually be ready to forgive everyone on the list. But if you’re comfortable, include their name anyway. Just write down anyone and everyone who comes to mind when you think of forgiveness.
The intention is to work through this list over the next weeks and months. There’s no time limit on when you need to finish this with this list. There may be some people you never address. That’s all ok. Just get all of the names down in one place.
Then, for now, just pick one person, the most approachable person/situation on the list, and proceed to step 2.
2. Write out how you felt hurt by this person.
This is important. See yourself and allow yourself to acknowledge your own pain and discomfort.
How did you feel in this situation? Why? What happened? What were you going through at the time? How was this person involved? Don’t censure yourself or the depth of your own feeling.
Allow yourself to be fully seen and acknowledged by you.
3. Take a wider perspective.
After you’ve seen and cleared some of your hurt, can you see this person from a zoomed out perspective?
Sometimes, when we take a wider perspective, we can see that this person was also acting out of hurt, or perhaps that they were doing their best with what they are able to do.
Or, you might even notice that their actions triggered a deeper pain from a different situation that didn’t actually have to do with them.
You can just free-write here and see what comes up. You might be surprised by what you learn.
Through acknowledging the situation from this more objective perspective, can you forgive them?
4. “I love you, I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you.” (suggestion).
When I do this forgiveness letter exercise, I always feel called to end the letter with this phrase, taken from an interpretation of the Hawaiian tradition of Ho’oponopono, a ritual and principle of reconciliation and healing.
If you feel comfortable, you can close with this phrase, and allow yourself feel the words: “I love you, I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you.”
I found this to be a really powerful way to release the person and myself from the entanglement of the interaction, and feel a sense of completion with the process.
And that’s all!
I recommend choosing one or two of the most approachable letters, the ones that don’t seem like they’ll be as hard to do, and get started now.
This process and this focus is a gift to yourself. See if you notice how much lighter you feel after doing some of these.
If you can, try to do at least 1-2 of these before next week, when part 2 of this Forgiveness series will be out.
Next week, I’ll send you a guided meditation to help you go further into getting your body and mind on board for doing this deep letting go.
As we go through this series, you might be surprised at what you’re ready to let go of, and how much of your own energy you can recall back to you.
Let me know how it goes in the comments below!
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