Handy-Dandy Self Love Tips Database

As the final official self-love post of February, I thought it'd be fun to compile a Master List of ways to keep the self-love flowing. This way, even though we'll be moving on to other topics, you can always come back here for self love tips and inspiration when you need some extra support. Here are 5 ideas to get you started. (And I encourage you to add your own ideas in the comments below.)

1.Practice listening to your heart.

Often, we're so busy these days that we forget to slow down, even during our time off. [caption id="attachment_1876" align="alignright" width="201"] photo credit: Olivia Alcock via photopin cc[/caption] At least I do. Just last month, for example, when I was at a hot springs retreat, I slowly realized that each morning I made a whole "relaxation itinerary" for the day. I was constantly planning and amending which hot springs pool I would be at, at what time, and for how long. (A little silly, no?) When I noticed this habit, I decided to consciously NOT plan anything, and just follow my heart in the moment. Instead of marching off to whatever relaxing thing I'd decided on that morning, I started walking slowly, without a plan, and invited my heart and spirit to guide me. Even though this was really tricky for me, it led to some wonderful walks in the woods, sunset meditations, and discoveries of secret river spots and ancient rock formations. So, for this self-love idea, I invite you to block out some time, or notice when it arrives spontaneously, and make no plans. Get quiet inside and listen to what your heart asks for. Whatever it is, do it! If you have some trouble hearing anything, you can prompt yourself for inspiration. Try filling in the blanks: "If I could do anything I would..." "Wouldn't it be great if..." "I'm ready to..." And go for it!

2. Write yourself a love-letter.

Even though this may seem cheesy, it can be a really soothing way to get in touch with yourself. Choose a period of your life, now or when you were younger, and write yourself a letter. Take the time to talk yourself through whatever is/was going on, and give yourself the support you need. Spending time with your younger self in this way can be an especially healing exercise. Pick a timeframe that you remember being difficult, and give yourself the love and understanding you needed at the time. Or, pick a time of life you remember being particularly awesome in, and send yourself heaps of praise and admiration! It will remind you of the qualities you appreciate about yourself. I highly recommend actually writing, instead of just thinking about it. There's something about the movement of your hand across the page.

3. Ask for what you need.

Precisely and often. It's common to come to feel like the people around us should just KNOW what we need. The fact is, though, that most often they don't. They may notice that we're unhappy or agitated, but waiting for people to read our minds usually isn't the best way to go. So, I invite you to practice asking for what you need. I know this can seem scary, but once you get started, it gets easier and easier. Here are the basic steps to start giving this a try with your friends, co-workers, and loved ones:

1. Spend some time thinking about what you need. (It's best to know that part beforehand : )
2. Ask for it directly, keeping in mind that it's better for both you and them if your needs and wants are clear.
3. Be open to the response (remember, this is a request, not a demand : )

The worst that can happen is that they’ll say "no,” right,? And that just leaves you where you started- no harm done. And the best that can happen is that they'll say yes! (and they can't say "yes" if you never ask...)

4. The 2 Qs.

A friend of mine recently asked me these two questions:

1. What makes you immediately shut down and close your heart?
2. What helps you open it up?

She'd been asking many of her friends this question, and I thought it was a great way to start noticing our own patterns and begin to help ourselves when we fall into a closed-heart trap. Some common answers for what closes the heart were: feeling rejected or insulted, or feeling mistreated. (These, I think, really reflect imbalances in our own self-worth, when they sting us so deeply). Some common answers for what opens your heart were: nature, breathing, relaxing, and consciously bringing attention to the heart. Ask yourself these two questions. Get intimate with the answers and use the information to help you notice when you're closing your heart, and to help you gently re-open it and be present with yourself.

5. Affirmations.

Say them all day. Make up new ones. Say them in the mirror. Sing them in the shower! I am love, I am everything I need, I am beautiful inside and out, I eat, drink and breathe love, I am perfect in every way. I do my best in all things, my heart is full and bright, I take the time I need to support and care for myself, I am abundance and light, I accept myself deeply, I have limitless confidence in my abilities, I am where I belong, doing what I'm meant to be doing in this moment, I love my body, I am filled with joy. Pick one or two and repeat them to yourself. Notice if and where they stick in you, and try to smooth out any resistance. Let the words and feelings wash over you and flow through you.

----------------------------------------------------------------

And now it's your turn.

What are your favorite self love tips?

What's your favorite and/or most effective way to shower yourself with self-love? Please share in the comments below. Let's make this page a one-stop shop for self-love ideas!